The Crust of Life

हर वक़्त निगाहें टिकी रहती है आसमान पर काश वोह आसमान मेरे पिंजरे में आ जाए हर वक़्त खोया रहता हूँ वोह बचपन की यादों में काश वोह खुशहाल  बचपन वापस मेरी ज़िन्दगीमें आ जाए हर वक़्त सर रखता हूँ मरहूम तेरी कबर पर काश तेरे बेजान जिस्म में वापस जान आ जाए क्यूँ नहीं? आखिर सूरज और चाँद ने भी तो मनमानी की है! उसने भी तो आसमान से अपनी दीवार और छत बनाई है! क्यूँ नहीं? बारिश की वोह बूँद ने भी तो सूरज की किरण को चूमकर बादलको गले लगाया है! क्यूँ नहीं? सूरज भी तो सारी रात रूठकर सुबह मुस्कुराता हुआ वापस आता है? क्यूँ नहीं? केहते है मांगो तो खुदा भी मिल जाता है तो फिर मरहूम की जान कौनसी बड़ी बात है? - Musten Jiruwala

Muharram is the first month of Islamic Hijri Calendar. Today is 2nd of Muharram of Hijri year 1433. Muharram is one of the most significant month for Shia Muslims because it marks the martyrdom of Husain Ibn Ali (A.S), grandson of Prophet Mohammed (SAW). During this month there are special congregations for the first 10 days where the life and time of Husain Ibn Ali (A.S.) and his family is narrated. Let me limit this note to Muharram for Dawoodi Bohra community of which I am a member. For Dawoodi Bohra community, who are followers of Syedna Mohammed Burhanuddin (TUS), month of Muharram is very significant. People of the community would travel long distances to listen to the sermons by Syedna (TUS). This year, Syedna(TUS) is presiding the congregation in the city of Mumbai (India) and people from all over the world are pouring in there. Resident Bohras of Mumbai would make comfortable arrangements for stay and food for people coming from outside of Mumbai. Apart from...

Eid-ul-Adha is the festival in Islam that marks the end of annual Hajj pilgrimage. The ritual of sacrificing an animal is in fact an irony of this festival! This ritual has its roots in an event that supposedly took place 4000 years ago. Prophet Abraham was asked by God to sacrifice something that is most dear to him. For Abraham, his son Ismael was most dearest since after several decades of yearning and prayers he was blessed with his son Ismael. So, he chose to sacrifice Ismael. Ismael, as an obedient son, consented to his father's wish and willingly chose to give up his life. God, supposedly pleased with this devotion, spared Ismael's life and happily accepted sacrifice of a lamb instead. The spirit is that the believer must give up something that is dear to him/her for the needy (personifying God). The spirit also highlights the willingness and obedience of a son in fulfilling his father's wish. In today's material world it is very much appl...

किसीके सामने बड़ा, तो किसीके सामने छोटा किसीके सामने दुबला, तो किसीके सामने मोटा किसीके सामने लम्बा, तो किसीके सामने नाटा किसीके सामने अच्छा, तो किसीके सामने बुरा तरस गया हूँ में अपनी असली सूरत के लिए ढूंढ रहा हूँ वोह आइना जो दिखा दे मेरी असली सूरत मुझे जब कभी भी आईने पर डाली रौशनी और धुंधला गयी सूरत मेरी गुस्से से तोड़ दिया वोह आइना चकना चूर हो गयी सूरत मेरी तनहा महसूस कर रहा था कोस रहा था हर आईने को अचानक दिल की गहराई से जानी पेहचानी सी आवाज़ आई 'बेवक़ूफ़, गर देखनी है तुझे  असली सूरत तेरी डाल रौशनी अपने आप पर तू क्यूँ बेवजह कोस रहा है आईने को? हर किसीका भी तो आइना है तू! गर देखनी है तुझे  असली सूरत तेरी ठीक कर पहले सीरत को तेरी दिखा साफ़ सूरत सबकी सबको तब देख पायेगा तू  असली सूरत तेरी' - Musten Jiruwala

Vijaya Dashmi or Dashara marks a milestone in one's life by celebrating victory of Good over Evil. I am sad that I don't have anything to celebrate for since I have not attained any victory over evil. Lord Rama is known as Maryada Purushottam, (The Greatest Man of Self-Control and Patience) owing to his victory over Ravana, the ten-headed rakshasha (devil) who personified ten evils - Krodh (anger), Ahankar (ego), Irshia (jealousy), Vaasana (lust), Lobh (greed), Moh (attachment), Ahamm (pride), Manas (mind), Ichchha (will) and Matsara (intellect). This festival reminds us of these evils present in our life and Lord Rama inspires us to fight these evils in a way depicted in Ramayana. When we defeat these evils in our own person, what will emerge is Rama-Rajya. As I look at myself, I am governed by many of these evils big time. This Vijaya Dashmi has inspired me to think, introspect and work towards defeating these evils in coming year so that I can also cel...

जब कल नहीं था , पछतावा भी नहीं था जब कल नहीं था , कोई उम्मीद भी नहीं थी जब कल नहीं था , कोई मायूसी भी नहीं थी जब कल नहीं था , कोई ख्वाइश भी नहीं थी जब कल नहीं था , कोई तड़प भी नहीं थी जब कल नहीं था , कोई फखर भी नहीं था जब कल नहीं था , कोई गुस्सा भी नहीं था जब कल नहीं था , कोई अफ़सोस भी नहीं था जब कल नहीं था , बहुत मोहब्बत थी जब कल नहीं था , बहुत ख़ुशी थी जब कल नहीं था , बहुत सुकून था अफ़सोस की आज " कल " है इस लिए मोहब्बत की शदीद ख्वाइश है ख़ुशी के लिए दिल तड़प रहा है सुकून की तो सिर्फ उम्मीद ही है आज " कल " में जैसे की खो गया है - मुस्तन जिरुवाला

In the beginning of the universe, I was one. There was no one to call me names There was no one to classify me as male or female There was no one to label me as Hindu or Muslim Nobody was there to make me rich or poor Nobody. None. Just me. I yearned for someone to talk to me I yearned for someone to acknowledge me I yearned for someone to notice me So, I decided to divide me. Again and again. More and more I divided me, yearning multiplied Now, I am no one. I am Yearning. - Musten Jiruwala

I am Body caught between the tug of war of Mind and Soul Mind has concerns Soul has desires I have feelings Who cares? I want to feel happy and peaceful Help me! I plead with my mind and the soul Mind thinks and says "first handle my concerns" I turn to the soul with the hope in my eyes Soul chirps "all you have to do is fulfill my desires!" I buckle under the weight of concerns and desires I become numb I let it go let it all just go I stop listening to the mind I become deaf to the soul they shout yell threaten I remain numb silent devoid of life after a while there is a deafening silence no shouting of the mind no chirping of the soul all there is is just a void. Nothingness. I start to like this state tentatively I dare to smile a little I start to feel the life again I start to feel the strength within And a realization dawns onto me Despite a million concerns of the mind Despite countless unfulfilled desires of the soul I can choose to feel happy and peaceful...

I am Body caught between the tug of war of Mind and Soul I am a slave to these two masters of finicky nature who should I listen to? The mind? or the soul? Mind is clever has memories of past and visions of future Soul is naive has no sense of time or place Mind has many tricks to save me when I am down tricks like lie, cheat, blame, accuse soul is dumb has only desires that lands me into trouble desirous of joy, love peace, passion only one thing common in them both are attention seekers I listen to one and other yells for attention I am a slave to these two masters of finicky nature Who should I listen to? Who should I ignore? Mind has concerns Soul has desires I have feelings Who cares? Who cares? - Musten Jiruwala

five feet below the ground with logs of wood all around burning happily round the clock with loved ones poking to stoke wind got a whiff of my joy determined to douse me with a ploy started to play with me like a toy with a strong intention to annoy I smiled and let it play since it didn't bother me in anyway I am the fire of faith wind of malice can't bring me death as the wind of rumor gets stronger I start burning brighter and longer wind, in its fury and anger ends up playing an encourager! I am the fire of faith wind of malice can't bring me death nor can it sway me away into revenge or wrath I am what I am I am faith - Musten Jiruwala

limping lifelessly burdened by thousands of thoughts I collapsed by the side of the river Shunned and pushed by one and all I lay there depressed, dejected sound of the river seemed to drowna in the chaos of my mind cool breeze mischievously and persistently irritated I gave up and let the breeze caress my face and the river sing to me after a prelude of flowing sounds the river started its lullaby "I am a drop from the sky fell on a leaf pleaded to hide leaf just smiled and gently pushed me aside I fell on the rock clung to it for my life with a tear in my eye pleaded to hide with a gentle smile the rock too pushed me aside I fell from rock to rock and leaf to leaf pushed and shunned yet no relief thousand other drops joined me in my grief together we struggled with some deep belief we kept moving we kept leaping we kept flowing we kept growing now, ...

Not so long ago I used to be surrounded by circumstances Desires burnt out on the back-burner while I wrestled with surviving in this society I was blurred in my own focus while I focused on lifeless surroundings One fine day, I gathered some courage and did what my heart desired I felt magical, ecstatic, alive! Next moment, the world seemed to have crashed on me I regretted quietly for my foolishness and vowed never to have any more desires Suppressed like a caged bird I went about the chores of life, again Until one fine day not so long ago sitting by the side of the river I realized what life is all about Today, I first do what my heart desires And I feel magical, ecstatic, alive Every moment. - Musten Jiruwala (dedicated to my love)

I have been looking for you But everytime I thought I found you it so turned out that it was only me Other day, I saw someone sulking and I thought, I found you But, it so turned out that it was only me When I saw that little child enjoying on the swing I thought, I found you But, it so turned out that it was only me This morning, when I confronted that arrogant person I thought, I found you But, it so turned out that it was only me! Every other person I saw who was Jealous, righteous, loving, caring, selfish, generous and what not I thought, I found you But, it so turned out every time that it was only me! I am so desperately looking for you that is not me Where are you? Are you there? Or is it just me? I think you are all screwed up. Or, is it me? - Musten Jiruwala

Love makes you walk a mile in your loved one's shoes. Seldom its a comfortable mile.

A little surprise party on a birthday or an anniversary. A small note of appreciation. A gift of new expensive watch. A surprise vacation plan. These are some of the unspoken wishes one has. Its an acid-test for my loved ones. I set this unspoken wish to be an indication of their love and care towards me. If they(loved ones) do it, I feel they care for me. If they don't (regardless of countless other things they do for my joy), I feel that they don't love me/they don't care for me. Ofcourse, I would feel hurt and let down if they don't do it. So, I rub it in. I tell them my expectation after the event has passed. And express my hurt. This way, all they can feel is guilt. Do I get pleasure out of it? No! But, why should I feel the pain alone? At least, next time they will know what is expected of them on such occasions, if they really love me, care for me. So called "wise" people say that, "You must express what you want", "You must be a demand ...

Context that you operate from gives you the perception of the person. This perception is responsible for the way you behave with that person. When you change your context, that same person will appear different to you.

Stress is caused by fear of change or desire to change. Fear of change causes resistance to change while desire to change causes resistance to the present. Both results in resistance and hence stress.